Memories and incidents
Mar. 29th, 2009 07:45 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
masked_godPersonal Archive: Hok'Ton Karakael
Entry Type: Voice, transcribed
Subject: Thoughts on scouting mission number...
Damn. [His voice shakes slightly, and there is a rustle of fabric]
Thoughts on meeting an old friend.
Personal Date: approximately fifteen thousand four hundred twenty six years since the fall of the Inquest.
Official Date: 10673 P.F.
Why? That is the question I must ask, despite the unfortunate answer I can see before me. Why? The answer seems to be simply “chance”.
The odds are astronomical, but not impossible. I knew it was possible that I could discover a world that still chafed under the hand of the Inquest. Time dilation is a force almost impossible to oppose, and the Overcosm is little simpler. We knew, even during the height of the Inquest, that the empire stretched across both time and space. It was no trouble to us – if it took forty years to travel to a planet and only two to return, how was that a problem? Yet our empire did stretch across time and space – into the future as well as the past.
All of which would be well and good, assuming no one was ever to travel linearly through the universe, observing ‘normal’ time in his or her travels. Unfortunately, through the assistance of the Darkling Wind, I am able to do exactly that.
It only recently y became apparent what a danger this could pose. A world where the Inquest could still exist – where Inquestors still had power, where heretics were still persecuted, a world that did not know that which was to come…and above all, a world where Inquestors – figures from my past but their own present – could walk through the streets at any time.
The planets I had been exploring were obviously farther in ‘my’ past than any others I had experienced. Yet a ten thousand or more year difference? Even I doubted the Overcosm was that twisted. So when Vara insisted I continue my investigation I acquiesced, bringing me to a planet lost in a convoluted swirl of the Overcosm called Celak-tisal.
* * *
It was an acceptable planet. Not particularly interesting or unique – the kind that could be sacrificed with little loss. Not a world an Inquestor would care for, or visit often. Celak-tisal was hardly a Utopia, but it was…pleasant.
Still, I should have fled it upon realizing the people still believed the Inquest existed.
But there are other worlds that hold stubbornly to that same belief, despite seeing the battles in their own skies. The myth of the Inquest still lives, despite its death several thousand years ago.
And even if the impossible was true, the odds of any Inquestor visiting this virtual backwater were astronomically high. I would have been there less than a standard month, heavily disguised, no obvious signs of my former station – were any Inquestor to pass he or she would hardly spare a glance for the scarred man in black.
The past cannot be changed – I am aware of this fact. So there would be little danger from my presence in it, and I could go about my duties with as much confidence of my own safety as in any other world.
The logic seems good. My reasons seem simple. But I have found that logic and reason pale in comparison to luck and fate. So my mind has to turn again and again to the damned question of ‘why’?
Why did it have to be him?
* * *
Looking back upon it there a certain twisted amount of sense to the whole affair. Certainly I went ‘back’ further than I had ever intended. But assuming that I did travel back almost ten thousand years, before even the hints of the destruction of the Inquest, assuming I managed to be on the same planet, on the same day, on the same street of a real Inquestor … there is only one it could have been.
There is only one Inquestor from that time who would visit an utter backwater, alone, without followers. One Inquestor who would take the time to observe the crowed, who would stop and speak to his subjects. Only one Inquestor who would have recognized me.
Elloran.
* * *
It still hurts, in a strange way, that he is gone. Of all my companions and lovers, it is he that I would have wished to see outlive the Inquest. It is he that should have survived, or resurrected, not I. Even in his own time he was a symbol for all that was right in our world, just as I was one of all that was wrong and twisted. And even now I remember him so clearly...
The Elloran I met on Celak-tisal was young, perhaps only within his hundredth year as and Inquestor. My memories of him from that time have faded, as he and I moved in different circles, and he was yet to become my equal. Yet already he possessed the kindness and understanding that marked him apart from other Inquestors. He merely had not yet perfected his talents.
I passed him as I left a small kiosk on one of the busier streets and had to force myself to not turn at the blue shimmercloak. No eye-contact was made, but I could feel him staring after me. I was not certain he was my former ally until he called out, requesting that I turn and approach him. It was then that I should have fled but...I am one apt to let my curiosity get the better of me. And it would have been unthinkable to deny and Inquestoral request - at least in that time and culture.
So I returned and gave the elaborate bow expected of me - though I found later that the form I used was several centuries out of date, earning me a rather odd look from the boy Inquestor. But rather than be insulted he was intrigued, perhaps at my apparent knowledge of former traditions, perhaps by the odd scarring on my face and hands (thank the gods the scars have faded over the years - even he might have been frightened at my original demeanor.) He requested my company for the evening, and I was forced to accept.
Not that I minded. Speaking to him was like speaking to the past. I knew I could do nothing to change it - nor would I have wanted to. Still...this was the Elloran that I once knew. He was still unrefined, yes. But his hopes and ideals, the spark that made him who he was and hinted at the greatness which was to come - that was all there. At the time I did not care that this would only make my life worse, open up the memories and scars that I had long forgotten. No. I merely wished to spend time in his presence, remembering the person he was.
I do not believe he disliked our time together. I could tell he almost recognized me - though without a mask covering my face he would likely have never guessed. But throughout the entire meal we shared he kept trying to figure me out, to pick away at my alias and credentials to uncover the mystery that was bothering him so. I told him that I had worked for the Inquest once, as a member of the Ferret clan, but he was unconvinced, and told me so.
"No member of the Ferret would be so heretical." He said, shaking his head and glancing at me with those clear blue eyes. Early in our conversation he had realized that I was a heretic - but unlike most Inquestors of that time he did not appear to mind. I was obviously no threat, and was not attempting to act on my destructive beliefs...there for I was harmless, and far more interesting to speak to than his normal followers. And despite it being his responsibility to devive me, I believe he found my willingness to ignore our apparent class differences refreshing. I was likely the first person since Sajit to treat him as anything other than a god or an opponent. And, as I found, Elloran had been quarreling with his friend and had not seen him in over ten years. While such a span of time means little to an Inquestor, it was...different between those two.
Likely he only sought me out because he missed his normal companion. But that was hardly different than our relationship during the Inquest. But for once there were no power plays or games between us - we were both as honest as we could bear.
Perhaps that is all that saved me, as shortly after I left him the next morning the planetary thinkhive decided I was a traitor, and attempted to have me destroyed. Though I could have escaped on my own it was Elloran who requested my release, and subsequent freedom. His 'excuse' was that creatures like me serve to spurn the Inquest onward and make it stronger. How compassionate of him. I wonder if he will still believe that when two hundred of his years have passed and he decides to end the Inquest?
[There is a rustle, and the former Inquestor stops dictating with an emotionless voice and seems to choke back a sob.]
What a question. Of course he will no longer think that. He will be willing to die for the end of the Inquest just as I was. 'He will burn in flames so bright that they will be remembered for eons and hundreds will follow in his wake...'.
[The lines are recited from memory but hold the bitter remorse of one who was actually there.
Karakael slams his fist into the table to clear the memory from his mind.]
Atta heng. Why did it have to happen?
Entry Type: Voice, transcribed
Subject: Thoughts on scouting mission number...
Damn. [His voice shakes slightly, and there is a rustle of fabric]
Thoughts on meeting an old friend.
Personal Date: approximately fifteen thousand four hundred twenty six years since the fall of the Inquest.
Official Date: 10673 P.F.
Why? That is the question I must ask, despite the unfortunate answer I can see before me. Why? The answer seems to be simply “chance”.
The odds are astronomical, but not impossible. I knew it was possible that I could discover a world that still chafed under the hand of the Inquest. Time dilation is a force almost impossible to oppose, and the Overcosm is little simpler. We knew, even during the height of the Inquest, that the empire stretched across both time and space. It was no trouble to us – if it took forty years to travel to a planet and only two to return, how was that a problem? Yet our empire did stretch across time and space – into the future as well as the past.
All of which would be well and good, assuming no one was ever to travel linearly through the universe, observing ‘normal’ time in his or her travels. Unfortunately, through the assistance of the Darkling Wind, I am able to do exactly that.
It only recently y became apparent what a danger this could pose. A world where the Inquest could still exist – where Inquestors still had power, where heretics were still persecuted, a world that did not know that which was to come…and above all, a world where Inquestors – figures from my past but their own present – could walk through the streets at any time.
The planets I had been exploring were obviously farther in ‘my’ past than any others I had experienced. Yet a ten thousand or more year difference? Even I doubted the Overcosm was that twisted. So when Vara insisted I continue my investigation I acquiesced, bringing me to a planet lost in a convoluted swirl of the Overcosm called Celak-tisal.
* * *
It was an acceptable planet. Not particularly interesting or unique – the kind that could be sacrificed with little loss. Not a world an Inquestor would care for, or visit often. Celak-tisal was hardly a Utopia, but it was…pleasant.
Still, I should have fled it upon realizing the people still believed the Inquest existed.
But there are other worlds that hold stubbornly to that same belief, despite seeing the battles in their own skies. The myth of the Inquest still lives, despite its death several thousand years ago.
And even if the impossible was true, the odds of any Inquestor visiting this virtual backwater were astronomically high. I would have been there less than a standard month, heavily disguised, no obvious signs of my former station – were any Inquestor to pass he or she would hardly spare a glance for the scarred man in black.
The past cannot be changed – I am aware of this fact. So there would be little danger from my presence in it, and I could go about my duties with as much confidence of my own safety as in any other world.
The logic seems good. My reasons seem simple. But I have found that logic and reason pale in comparison to luck and fate. So my mind has to turn again and again to the damned question of ‘why’?
Why did it have to be him?
* * *
Looking back upon it there a certain twisted amount of sense to the whole affair. Certainly I went ‘back’ further than I had ever intended. But assuming that I did travel back almost ten thousand years, before even the hints of the destruction of the Inquest, assuming I managed to be on the same planet, on the same day, on the same street of a real Inquestor … there is only one it could have been.
There is only one Inquestor from that time who would visit an utter backwater, alone, without followers. One Inquestor who would take the time to observe the crowed, who would stop and speak to his subjects. Only one Inquestor who would have recognized me.
Elloran.
* * *
It still hurts, in a strange way, that he is gone. Of all my companions and lovers, it is he that I would have wished to see outlive the Inquest. It is he that should have survived, or resurrected, not I. Even in his own time he was a symbol for all that was right in our world, just as I was one of all that was wrong and twisted. And even now I remember him so clearly...
The Elloran I met on Celak-tisal was young, perhaps only within his hundredth year as and Inquestor. My memories of him from that time have faded, as he and I moved in different circles, and he was yet to become my equal. Yet already he possessed the kindness and understanding that marked him apart from other Inquestors. He merely had not yet perfected his talents.
I passed him as I left a small kiosk on one of the busier streets and had to force myself to not turn at the blue shimmercloak. No eye-contact was made, but I could feel him staring after me. I was not certain he was my former ally until he called out, requesting that I turn and approach him. It was then that I should have fled but...I am one apt to let my curiosity get the better of me. And it would have been unthinkable to deny and Inquestoral request - at least in that time and culture.
So I returned and gave the elaborate bow expected of me - though I found later that the form I used was several centuries out of date, earning me a rather odd look from the boy Inquestor. But rather than be insulted he was intrigued, perhaps at my apparent knowledge of former traditions, perhaps by the odd scarring on my face and hands (thank the gods the scars have faded over the years - even he might have been frightened at my original demeanor.) He requested my company for the evening, and I was forced to accept.
Not that I minded. Speaking to him was like speaking to the past. I knew I could do nothing to change it - nor would I have wanted to. Still...this was the Elloran that I once knew. He was still unrefined, yes. But his hopes and ideals, the spark that made him who he was and hinted at the greatness which was to come - that was all there. At the time I did not care that this would only make my life worse, open up the memories and scars that I had long forgotten. No. I merely wished to spend time in his presence, remembering the person he was.
I do not believe he disliked our time together. I could tell he almost recognized me - though without a mask covering my face he would likely have never guessed. But throughout the entire meal we shared he kept trying to figure me out, to pick away at my alias and credentials to uncover the mystery that was bothering him so. I told him that I had worked for the Inquest once, as a member of the Ferret clan, but he was unconvinced, and told me so.
"No member of the Ferret would be so heretical." He said, shaking his head and glancing at me with those clear blue eyes. Early in our conversation he had realized that I was a heretic - but unlike most Inquestors of that time he did not appear to mind. I was obviously no threat, and was not attempting to act on my destructive beliefs...there for I was harmless, and far more interesting to speak to than his normal followers. And despite it being his responsibility to devive me, I believe he found my willingness to ignore our apparent class differences refreshing. I was likely the first person since Sajit to treat him as anything other than a god or an opponent. And, as I found, Elloran had been quarreling with his friend and had not seen him in over ten years. While such a span of time means little to an Inquestor, it was...different between those two.
Likely he only sought me out because he missed his normal companion. But that was hardly different than our relationship during the Inquest. But for once there were no power plays or games between us - we were both as honest as we could bear.
Perhaps that is all that saved me, as shortly after I left him the next morning the planetary thinkhive decided I was a traitor, and attempted to have me destroyed. Though I could have escaped on my own it was Elloran who requested my release, and subsequent freedom. His 'excuse' was that creatures like me serve to spurn the Inquest onward and make it stronger. How compassionate of him. I wonder if he will still believe that when two hundred of his years have passed and he decides to end the Inquest?
[There is a rustle, and the former Inquestor stops dictating with an emotionless voice and seems to choke back a sob.]
What a question. Of course he will no longer think that. He will be willing to die for the end of the Inquest just as I was. 'He will burn in flames so bright that they will be remembered for eons and hundreds will follow in his wake...'.
[The lines are recited from memory but hold the bitter remorse of one who was actually there.
Karakael slams his fist into the table to clear the memory from his mind.]
Atta heng. Why did it have to happen?
