Philosophy Backfire

[masked_god]

[Here is Karakael, sitting in a strange, darkly lit room with pulsing walls. He is surrounded by an animated group of people, all arguing and shouting, while he himself remains quietly listening.

If anything, he looks rather bored.]

Gentlemen, I am merely here to facilitate your people's return to the surface. I am not here to debate philosophy, and I am not qualified to touch on theology.

But you wear the sign of the Inquest! You know it must exist, how could you ask us to leave our sacred duty when one of them could return and free us from this penance?

[That gets a...look which luckily is only caught by the camera.]

Every hundred years your society has to rebuild itself from scratch. What ever task your mythical "Inquest" required of you can no longer be performed. Please. Let the sea-riders help -

But surely you do not put any stake into the parasite philosophy -
- or the Fallen Godhood theory -
- or the suggestion that we were placed here as punishment for -
- and it can't be denied that the surface dwellers are -
- we would lose our homes -
- our heritage lies within these walls -
- if the Masked Corruption or Broken Saint were here -

[The last comment makes him snap.]

I'm sure if Ton Karakael were here he would be saying the same things, but perhaps with more expletives. Your gods would act more sensible than you and that is impressive given the idiocy they were apparently prone to. Practicality is not a sin, gentlemen, nor is taking the opportunity to find a future for your civilization.

Your people will die, if not now, then in a hundred years when your dragon-home either dies or mates again. But you will not be given this opportunity again! I am giving you a choice gentlemen, and if you are too shackled by the imagined past to see the possibilities for your future, that is your own business. But please stop throwing around philosophy as excuses for your indecision!

[The camera cuts out, just as the first accusations of heresy are shouted by the gathering, even as others look shocked into agreement with the emissary.]

Comments

[masked_god]

You would need to mind control all of them, plus most of the citizens of this damnable dragon, unless you can come up with a convincing theology as to why they should leave.

[He leans against a wall and sighs.]

But thank you for the offer. I might take you up on it if they get much worse.

[sandinmyboots]

Could I give them a new god?

[It's worth trying!]

[masked_god]

...have you ever tried to convince someone to change their religion without actual godhood to back you up?

[sandinmyboots]

But I have actual godhood!

[masked_god]

Does that qualify in another universe?

[Unstated: being a god in the Dispersal universe is a very mentally unhealthy job and the last thing Karakael wants for Kefka]

[sandinmyboots]

It's not like I'll do it for long. I'll pop in, go "I'm a god and you need to get out or I'm ending the world," blow some stuff up, they'll leave!

[masked_god]

Godhood is a dangerous addiction...and I would know. Why don't we try it my way first, and if I end up killing all of them by the end of the evening we'll do it your way.

[sandinmyboots]

It's a date!

[masked_god]

Wonderful. I don't suppose you have any suggestions for convincing people that their gods don't exist?

[sandinmyboots]

What if I said I was a god who made the Inquest up to screw with them? Or I could pretend to be the crawling darkness! Or maybe if we used empirical proof to show that divine beings don't exist!

[masked_god]

I like the latter one. I would really prefer to give these people the opportunity to create their own gods, untarnished by the memory of the Inquest.

But as long as they are removed from the true reality of it - the technology and structures that still surround them here - then I believe the memory will fade on its own.

[sandinmyboots]

Which, of course, leads to the question of proving that gods don't exist. Maybe if I vandalized the more obvious examples of godhood?

[masked_god]

...I'd prefer not getting hanged, if its all the same to you. As the only outsider, anything mysterious happening would be blamed on me.

[sandinmyboots]

Drat. Hmmm. What if we kill the dragon?

[masked_god]

That's what Vara did last time, but that still required convincing the people to leave before it went down.

[sandinmyboots]

And you don't want to just kill them all. Pity. What if we knock them all unconscious, move them and their stuff out of the dragon while they're out, and then wake them up?

[masked_god]

It might come to that. How would you suggest we do that?

[sandinmyboots]

I can cast a mass Sleep spell, my people can move everyone out of the dragon with their strength and lots of teleport stones, so I just need a place to stash them afterwards and some instructions on how to take out the more difficult stuff, like plumbing!

[masked_god]

Finding someplace to leave them my pose a problem: there is hardly any land on the world, and the floating cities need adequate warning before an influx of people arrives.

[sandinmyboots]

And I can't just make a landmass, right?

[masked_god]

The power that would take...but you might be able to do it. Still, it would rather change the nature of this world, would it not? Who would leave land for floating cities?

[sandinmyboots]

I'm not going to make stuff float; that takes too much power! I'll just take some available land and raise it a few feet to make a new archipelago. If you can set up stuff to get them fresh water and agriculture so they land on their feet, I think that'd work pretty well!

[masked_god]

"Few feet"? This whole world is covered in at least three hundred feet of water.

[sandinmyboots]

There's got to be some parts of land that are closer to the surface!

[masked_god]

One or two, perhaps. But these people have never lived on solid land and none of their crops are designed for it.

[sandinmyboots]

...how are they not dead yet? One good storm could screw up their houses!

[masked_god]

...remember that they spend most of their time 500 klomets beneath the sea.